Shampoo Fatigue

The majority of my family uses the big bathroom in my house, which leads to my mother buying large, bulk containers of shampoo and conditioner. After using the same shampoo for a couple of months, I’ve come down with a strange case of something I now call shampoo fatigue. It’s where you actually dread using the shampoo because you know exactly how your head is going to feel once you’ve rubbed it into your skull.

This is a tad weird, I know. Nevertheless, I felt a strange sense of relief when I bought myself a container of Garnier Fructis. It seems to have done the trick, but how long will I have before I become tired of Fructis?

Stay tuned folks...

Joel Samson Berntsen (Against Me! - Ocean)

Taken

Taken seems like a formulated kidnap movie: Semi-innocent Girl gets kidnapped by ominous group and father like figure sets off to catch the perpetrators. And even though Taken starts off generic in nature, you quickly become emotionally enthralled in movie.

Liam Neeson plays Bryan Mills, an over-protective father who is desperately trying to make up for lost time with his daughter. Mills is retired military and when he begrudgingly lets his daughter go to Paris. Things quickly start to hit the fan; fortunately, Mills is prepared for everything and immediately sets off to find his daughter.

Neeson gives an extraordinary performance as Mills and its heart-breaking seeing him caring for someone he barely knows. The audience quickly falls in love with him, cheering and clapping for his actions, something rarely done at any movie I’ve been to lately. Taken is strongly routed in reality, more than any other action film I’ve seen in years. The protagonist is still nearly invincible, however, the smartness and brutality of Neeson makes you feel like he should have survived every dangerous meeting in the film.

It’s a somewhat bitter-sweet experience though because everyone wants Neeson to succeed, but his daughter is a lifeless ingrate beforehand that I didn’t really want to be saved. But I did, which is one of the reasons that Taken is such a great movie. It takes the audience into an unknown world and tells a simple tale that you can’t help but care about. What happens in Taken could and does happen, which explains why people care so much about Neeson succeeding in rescuing his daughter.

In short, Taken is an incredibly solid film that should be seen as soon as possible.

Joel Samson Berntsen (Ride-The Vines)

All Sales are Vinyl

Earlier, I was faced with the task of planning my Friday night, while in the tub. My phone has a rather loud vibrator that, when placed on certain surfaces, is like a jackhammer. So, while I’m in my tub reading of Obama’s exploits, I hear the earthquake. It was a text asking me if I wanted to see a movie in a half-hour. Being as I was naked and unable to be in the theatre in that amount of time I was somewhat baffled and responded with just saying ‘maybe’ and telling that person I was currently in the tub. I was already sick of getting in and out of the tub to check my phone and so when the person texted my back I just started disregarding my phone. I thought it might be more suitable to move my phone nearer to me. However, would it be worth the potential risk of being electrocuted and/or ruining my phone? I decided to just leave my cell alone and continue reading. Luckily, everything worked out. I saw Taken. Hopefully, I’ll post my review soon. It really blew me away, which was surprising. I’ll save that for the review though.

Always a pleasure,

Joel Samson Berntsen, listening to Twist and Shout-The Beatles.

Down with the Sickness

I went on a four day stint of being completely and utterly sick. But, good news, I’ve made a semi-full recovery, just in time for the super-bowl too. Somehow, I contracted some sort of viral infection Sunday night, which weakened my body allowing for a sinus infection to become prominent. It’s been a rough week.

In accordance with my absence, I thought a mention some musings I’ve had lately. For one, Jack Bauer and Christian Bale’s Batman have very similar crisis voices. Try doing an impersonation of one of them and ask someone who you’re trying to impersonate. It’ll be weird. I also picked up Kingdom hearts II. That game is off its rocker. The first three hours had almost nothing to do, at least from what I could tell, with the rest of the game. Who would have thought that mixing Final Fantasy and Disney characters into a video game would make a franchise? I’ve also grown quite obsessed with Hunter S. Thompson. After watching the extraordinary documentary Gonzo: The life and times of Dr.Hunter S. Thompson, I dug up a copy and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas at my local library. The only thing I can say right now is that if I didn’t have a history on Thompson, I’d have no clue what Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was about.

Next time: Day and Age

Joel Samson Berntsen, currently listening to Eddie’s Ragga - Spoon.

Why I'm not doing drugs till I'm seventy...

I’ve recently decided that I’m not going to do or try drugs until I’m seventy. I’ve never been real interested in ‘doing’ drugs being as I’ve had very close friends ruin their lives by partaking and dealing with illegal substances.

I came to the decision that drugs weren’t for me, at least for now, because I already have trouble stopping far simpler things. I take very long showers. I have trouble getting up in morning; I often hit the sleep button three times before successfully dragging myself out of bed.

So if I have trouble with such tasks as easy as sleeping and showers, I can confidently say that I would become a drug fiend if I ever did a hit, line, or whatever they’re calling it nowadays. It would most likely over-take my life and in doing so ruin any chance I’d have to become a successful writer. And I do NOT want that.

Now, you might be asking, so why, good sir, are you waiting till you’re seventy? Well, I feel that‘s the proper time where I could decide to do drugs or not. Hopefully, I’ll have quite a bit of money since I never plan on retiring from writing and I feel that with all of today’s medicine and surgeries we are leaving for longer than nature or God intended. If I have grand kids and a wife then I’d probably never touch anything to major. But if I’m living alone and most of my family is gone, that’s a different story…

Thanks for Reading,

Joel Samson Berntsen (listening to Super Bad-James Brown)

Moving on to Bitterness

I recently moved on from a girl that I’ve spent nearly a semester of my life chasing after; well, not chasing after, more like timidly following. Anyway, she’s screwed a ton of guys over and I’m glad that I’ve finally realized that there’s nothing that special about her and that I’m starting some-what over.

To put things in perspective though, I found out that UGO entertainment recently bought the 1up network from Ziff Davis. Most people won’t know what this means, but 1up provided podcasts, online content, and egm magazine. I’ve listened to the majority of 1up’s podcast over the past year and slowly grew very fond of almost everyone in their offices and with the recent purchase of the network, quite a number of those people were laid off. From what I’ve read, it seems that all the podcasts are going to be shut down. And with this bitch economy, I would assume it’s going to be pretty difficult to find a new job. Here’s to hoping everything works out for all the ex-employees of the 1up network. If you have any questions on anything feel free to post and for a full list of casualties check: http://www.eat-sleep-game.com/news/ .

It’s odd how an event like this can show you how insignificant my problems actually are. My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected be UGO screwing over so many great, funny people.

Also check out Jeff Green's blog response to this, it's the most honest response i've read so far...

http://jeff-greenspeak.blogspot.com/2009/01/no-youre-not-same-1up.html

Joel Samson Berntsen (listening to Ocean of Noise-Arcade Fire)

Film Wrap Party

I’ve seen a multitude of movies over the last couple of weeks and wanted to summarize some of my thoughts on movies.

Yes Man was actually decent. It’s just a fun film to see. Jim Carrey is hilarious as a drunken crazy man. I give it a B-.

Rocket Science is a charming Indie film directed by Jeffery Blitz of Spellbound fame. If you are in speech and debate; SEE THIS MOVIE. If not you’ll still like the movie but it seems that it was made solely for the sake of having a film about speech and debate. The film also introduced me to Nicholas D'Agosto, who I want to star in every film I ever write or make. Rocket Science gets a B.

High Fidelity: a classic John Cusack movie. I highly recommend this movie. It’s not the greatest or most original movie out there but it keeps you invested in the plot and gives you a some-what new perspective. If you’re really into music and are over the age of twenty you will love this movie. I felt like most of the humor was lost on me because I didn’t get the references. In the end, it gets a very high B+.

Righteous Kill, featuring Robert Dinero and Al Pacino, was a horrible movie. The script seemed some-what manageable but the acting, directing, and cinematography was hideous. If you have decent taste in anything dealing with film avoid this film.

And I’m currently listening to Golden Age by TV on the Radio,

Joel Samson Berntsen

Judging from the trailer, I didn’t expect much from The Spirit. It looked like a glorified cartoon twisted in the hands of Frank Miller. And I’ve got to say, after actual watching the movie, I was pretty much right.

The movie succeeds when there’s banter and decent actors, but when two guys are just beating the crap out of each other it’s almost always hilarious, but as Frank Miller tries to evoke emotions of ache and loss the film only appears comical(and not in the good way). Stylistically, though, the film is beautiful. However, it is inconsistent. Whereas a film like Sin City maintains a specific style throughout all its tales, The Spirit ricochets from various styles with no clear transitions from one scene to another. The film and I use the term film quite loosely, while being gorgeous in spots and very funny in others is nothing more than a cartoon.

As always one or two actors/actresses in a film will catch my eye and this time it’s Scarlett Johansson. She is spectacular as a Silken Floss, the sarcastic, female-fatale sidekick to the Octopus (Played by Samuel L Jackson). Her deadpan remarks and acting alone redeem some of the lacking moments of the movie. It’s hard to describe how funny she actually is in the movie; I just know I now have a major craving to see Ghost World. Also, Samuel L. Jackson! He really is funny as the Octopus. If I ever make or write an action film, I want those two in it.

The Spirit doesn’t get a grade. Mainly because it’s a cartoon and I have no idea what I would give it if I was grading it.

Happy New Year!

Joel Berntsen; currently listening to Devil’s Haircut by Beck