Monday, July 27, 2009

Checking In

Emma Watson: Gorgeous? Oh, Yes.

Rachel Getting Married: More of an experience than a film

Robyn (The Swedish pop star): Thorough Enjoyment (She sorta seems like a female Bowie)

Past Month: Pure delight mixed with discharges of exhaustion

My mother: Concerned about what people post on my facebook wall (What the hell?)

Joel Samson Berntsen (Cobrastyle-Robyn)

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Pleas for Sex in Hotel Bar

I'm currently vacationing in Chicago. And as I leach from the hotel wi-fi(which oddly is only available for free by the bar) there's is a couple sitting next to me. I don't see the face of either person, but the man has a thick accent. The girl is clearly American and has a whinny voice. And as I sit in this bar, my face lit up by my father's laptop, they're arguing over the merits of first date sex.

First, I hear, "I have work in the morning. I can't. I can't  believe you're asking me this."

The man mumbles in a form of jaded english, I can't really understand him. She tells him, she wants to see him again and repeats she has work in the morning. He seems unable to understand this concept. I'm only hearing their voices. She tells him to order her another shot. There's an eerie silence. He returns and the converstation quickly goes back down hill.

"How dare you! Why are you making me feel little? You're making me feel two years old."

She's getting pretty pissed off. She demands he call her a cab. There's more mumbling. I can hear the man say something about the cab. They both get up. As soon as they walk past me, shoot a glance in their direction. I only see they're backs. The lady was short and had long, blond hair. The man was about her size and Asian.

I can only imagine what this lady is going to say tomorrow when her co-worker Jane asks how her date went, "Oh, let me tell you, I think he was the biggest douchebag I've ever met in my life." They'll go on to make racist jokes.

Joel Samson Berntsen (Listening to some club mix with heavy bass)

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Senior Pictures Result in Brief Spout of Depression

When I get a hair cut the following happens:
  • My ears are combed about fifty times
  • I stare and read the labels of the five hair products on the counter ninety-eight times
  • I tip(even though most of the barbers I encounter are dull-witted nincompoops who have just the a tiny morsel of skill)
  • I distress over my hair
  • I resist the urge to buy a hat that will cover both my wretched hair cut and my ridiculously large ears
  • I finally decide that it doesn't look that bad
  • I get sorta happy
Joel Samson Berntsen(Heroes-David Bowie)

Friday, July 10, 2009

I ♥ Huckabees

“When a mystery needs to be solved and it’s not a whodunit but a maze involving emotions, it requires the expertise of intellectual- and perhaps slightly kooky- detectives Vivian (Lily Tomlin) and Bernard (Dustin Hoffman). The husband and wife existential team helps untangle questions of purpose. Their client? Albert Markovski (Jason Schwartzman), an (environmentalist) who’s plagued by twists of fate. Co-stars Jude Law and Naomi Watts.” – Synopsis from Netflix
I ♥ Huckabees combines a particularly strange plot with fantastic acting and writing to create the most compelling movie I’ve seen in a while.
The characters are so appealing, engaging, and human that when they interact it forces the viewer to pay attention. A connection is almost immediately established with every single character. There’s a sense that you’ve encountered or met every single one of them. They’re all flawed characters but that’s the primary reason why they’re compelling; it forces the viewer to laugh and sympathize with every mistake and callow action.
Damn near every one gives a flawless performance, but a couple of actors should be pointed out. Mark Wahlberg presentation as a fire-fighter who has extreme difficulty accepting petroleum’s place in our corporate based society delivers one of the most touching, loyal characters in last ten years. Who knew that Mark Wahlberg could actually act? Jason Schwartzman and Jude law deliver with an uncanny perfection as warring enemies.
The final reason why I heart I ♥ Huckabees is how every running reference, character action, and the arguments of existentialism comes full circle in a very funny, very series manner that leaves the viewer with a lasting sense of satisfaction.
Joel Samson Berntsen (House Clouds-Liars)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I've been having an affair with another blog

I would like to modestly suggest that any readers of my blog check out the following:

I will be a regular contributor. It should be noted that my only two posts have been buried, so if you’re looking for some of my writing you’re gonna have to scroll. It should also be noted that I’m not actually gay. It’s just a hilarious title.

Joel Samson Berntsen (I’m currently hosting a double ear infection, so the music has been put on hold)

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Today is a Great Day To Leer(A+ Tutoring Week Two)

I’ve been away for a while so I’d first like to conclude my A+ adventures. I don’t remember too much from week two. There were absences and a lack of actual schooling. For my last day, I bought a bunch of assorted fruit snacks for the kids. They loved me for it. The last recess was also incrediblely fun considering about fifty kids chased me around for half an hour. My favorite child of the bunch also gave me hug. It sort of broke my heart. And that’s it! No more summer school tutoring. On with life and such.