Monday, August 24, 2009

In Case of Hate: Break Glass

"Now I don't mean to sound cold or cruel or vicious, but I am. So, that's the way it comes out." - Bill Hicks

I am a vicious person. If I don't like you, I really don't like you. I will make this as clear as possible. My tongue is sharp and I will cut you. The majority of the time, I will feel no remorse whatsoever. I've always prided myself of this, which I realize is not only a problem but completely immoral.

I do; however, feel extremely ashamed when someone I care about chastises an off-hand comment or remark that was, in all probability, completely unnecessary because it makes me appear as a cold-hearted bastard. I don't want to be bastard. I want to be personable, charming, and cunning. But there’s a fine line one walks in attempts to be cunning. It can come off as intelligent and insightful. Beware though; if that line is crossed, you’ll retain the prior words, but the characteristics of cold and cruel will start to characterize you.

This scares me. One; because I firmly believe it’s exceedingly grows harder to change who one is as they grow older and I’m almost eighteen. Two; If I think I’m cold, others must think I’m appalling.

Thinking about this has led me to one conclusion: I need to dial down my hate. I’ll almost certainly remain who I am, but I need to at least attempt to put myself in check.

Joel Samson Berntsen (With A Little Help from My Friends- The Beatles)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

In all honesty Joel, I think your attitude has improved alot over the last few years. Just on one occasion, I thought of you as a partially funny yet extremly smart-alecy kid (with a dash of jerk seasoning), but now that I've gotten to know you in these past few year I feel that you are a good kid and I want to let you know, you've sheaded that bad part of that previous image that plauged me in that prior year. I consider you a good friend and I feel you will go far in life!